Today is a personal blog day - the kind of day when I like to think I have something profound to say, but when, in reality, I really just need to sort something out for myself.
Today is the day of my first teacher interview of the season. I need a job. I want a job that will make a difference, not one in which I sit around and answer phones all day. I want to do something meaningful in my life.
The problem is, ever since I got married and moved away from nearly everyone I know and all the connections I had formed, I feel like I've been separated from the real world. I love my husband and would follow him anywhere, but I am really beginning to feel a need to branch out on my own and have my own reason for getting up every morning (and as much as I love grad school, studying is just not cutting it anymore).
And yet I feel anxious, too. Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Why hasn't anything happened sooner? I've become so caught up in the short-term that it is difficult for me to look at the long-term again.
So, anyway, today at 3:15 I will have my first of hopefully several interviews for a position as a secondary English teacher. Wherever I end up, I hope it is because I am supposed to be there and not because I made it happen when it wasn't supposed to. I just want some meaning back in my life!
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I've often wondered about what I'm supposed to be doing versus what I think I should be doing. And honestly, how are you supposed to know anyway? I think you just do your best to make the best decisions you possibly can, and have some faith that it will work out in the end.
ReplyDeleteI got hired on my 7th teacher interview. It was stressful looking always reflecting on the whole process. You seem so smart, I like reading what you write on your blog. I think you will find a job super fast!
ReplyDeleteI hope that things go well on the interviews and that the right job comes at the right time.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you personally, but from what I've read in your blog this semester I hope that what I say will help you. You sound like my seniors that have just finished their undergrad degrees. They are unsure and anxious for answers. Have you ever read C.S. Lewis? In his Chronicles of Narnia, there is a particular book and chapter that I always refer to people in your position. I even pull it out and read it myself sometimes. Check out The Horse and His Boy - chapter 11. Shasta does not understand why his life had to go in certain directions, and that chapter clears a lot of things up for him. Remember that you don't have to have everything all planned out. Trust God. He knows exactly where you need to be and He will make sure you get there. Hang in there. I'll be praying for you.
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