To continue the English-themed blogs, I thought I'd ramble about the difficulty I have been having writing my latest paper.
Writing is always difficult for me. Some people can sit down and spit out a 3-page paper in 30 minutes, but I simply cannot do that. I have to agonize over my subject for a while, then gather information, then agonize some more. Then write an outline, with a vague thesis and a detailed body (including every quotation and main point and sub point). At some point during this outlining it will all suddenly click, and I will sit down and write the rough draft from start to finish, then go back over it for the next few days, paragraph by paragraph, to make sure everything lines up, connects, and says what I want to say.
True, I have produced some positive-remark-earning papers over the years, but recently I can't help but wonder why in the world I go to such lengths and through such anxiety just to produce one paper. It doesn't always seem worth it to me. I feel like there are so many other things I could be doing with my time, so many other things I could be writing - things I actually care about. It's not that I mind writing the paper, it's just that for me, personally, I cannot write a good paper unless I do all these things, and I am enough of a perfectionist not to do them. Ahhhhh! Is it REALLY worth it????? I know, just ranting.
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Of course it's worth it! There's nothing wrong with holding yourself to your personal standard of excellence. The Bible says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving" (Colossians 3:23, 24). I always have this in mind while writing papers. It's not an easy standard, but I know my personal best is worth agonizing over.
ReplyDeleteYou have to go with the process that works best for you. Which sucks, of course, because the best method for you isn't always the fastest... but if you can produce a quality paper, then why have any anxiety over the process it took to write it?
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